Self transformation is only possible when there is power of realization. Power of realization comes in 2 aspects - one is the realization of one's weaknesses. Secondly realize that situations or individual may come as a test, also realize the desires and feelings of the mind of other, their weakness and their stage of being dependent on you.
~ Brahma Kumaris, Mt Abu.
There is one sort of realization which comes with an honest and true heart. The second variety of realization is when a mind accepts that something is not accurate/not correct and the conscience speaks out that this is not accurate but in order to prove oneself a bigger person or in order that one's name is not weakened in front of others, they kill their conscience. To kill the conscience in this way is a great sin of suicide.
~ Brahma Kumaris, Mt Abu.
To have good wishes for others, you need to have pure, selfless thoughts. Such people not only fill others with happiness, but are themselves happy, complete and content. Those who have waste thoughts for others or even themselves, are constantly empty and experience themselves to be weak. They cannot have good wishes for others.
~ Brahma Kumaris, Mt Abu.